Report by special correspondent, Steve Sloman
Brown Green lost to Newport in the B team finals in a closely contested tournament that left several players battle-scarred and weary, others with emotional trauma that we expect to be lasting but hopefully not permanent. John Wemple initiated the battle with a solid and hard-earned win over his opponent Scott LeBrun 3-1 at B4.
John Wemple shows Scott LeBrun how to use the wrong hand to hit a back court drive.
Next, Steven Sloman, with the aim of appearing regal and sportsmanlike at B3, gave a match away to Peter Anderson of Newport 0-3 (Peter was at top form according to all witnesses).
Steve Sloman punches the back wall while stomping on the ball.
Campbell Lovett then took the stage for the B5 competition. Campbell of course likes to put on a show, and felt that in order to engage his audience it was important to lose before winning. After a few playful dropshots, Campbell got down to business and demonstrated his zen-like mastery of the art of patience. He won 3-1.
Campbell Lovett, the embodiment of patience.
Then the excitement really began as Yousaf Ali fought a battle to the near-death against Emlen Drayton. Yousaf was up to 2-1 in the fourth game, needing only 3 points to win the match and the cup until he had an epiphany. Yousaf realized that he had bigger dreams. The B- finals meant nothing. Yousaf had reached a turning point. He discovered that what he really wanted at this point in his life was rest. He wanted to no longer be running around a small cell waving a high-tech bat in his hand. He wanted to be lying on the floor nursing a beer. While Yousaf meditated on this self-discovery, Emlen continued to drop balls an inch above the tin and retrieve everything on his wavering legs. Just before passing out from exhaustion and apparent cardiovascular trauma, Emlen took the match 3-2 in a formidable demonstration of talent and will.
Yousaf Ali, demonstrating the famous Ali cross-armed twist shot.
Finally, it came down to Scott Martin and Seth Evans. In a dramatic fight to the finish, with both contenders demonstrating exceptional drive, desire, and flash, the astounding athletic talents of Evans prevented Scott from emerging as the night's redeeming hero. Final score 0-3.
The would-be heros of the evening, with our hardworking captain Andy Horwitz. Campbell Lovett is off-screen, meditating.